From 1969 to 1974 the T.V. series entitled, Love: American Style ran on ABC. It was a comedy featuring episodes of people falling in love and being swept off their feet over some external beauty or character trait, while working out some petty issues which always seemed to get resolved by the end of the show, leaving everyone being happy ever after. People remember it as a fun show but the truth is that it was all fantasy.

Tragically, fantasy too often seems to become a part of our “reality” in our present culture. We have our ideals about the way things should be and, when they are not what we expect them to be, we become disappointed. Too often, disappointment turns into anger—and anger can lead to tragic results. Truth be told, anger never solves anything. From road-rage to domestic violence — and on to violent protest demonstrations, anger is be-coming an ugly “normal” for a nation that would otherwise prefer to celebrate even a single day of romance.

February 2015 finds us celebrating Valentine’s Day on one week and entering the holy season of Great Lent soon afterward. There are few things “American Style” about Great Lent. At the same time, there are also few things “American Style” about the Sacrament of Holy Marriage. In many ways, living the Sacramental life-style of Holy Marriage requires the spiritual discipline and effort that Great Lent imposes upon all of us.

“American Style” is soon changing our dictionary, however. Terms such as forgiveness, repentance andresponsibility, if they are not fading from the vocabulary altogether, their meanings seem to be changing.Forgiveness is now something others need to ask from us, rather than the other way around. Repentance now means, at best, “self-improvement, or, “being sorry.” Responsibility is viewed as the other person’s job to be accountable. Such “love” may be “American-Style,” but it is far from Christian love.

For Orthodox Christians—especially as we study the mentality of the Saints—forgiveness, repentance andresponsibility are all defined by our relationship with Jesus Christ our God. Forgiveness is granted by our Lord“as we forgive others who trespass against us.” It is impossible to define the word repentance without having God in mind—repentance is not simply “change of heart,” “self-improvement,” or “being sorry.” It is turning to God and willingly seeking to put on the Image of Christ within us. The word responsibility can best be defined in the con-text of the glorious Second Coming of Christ, Who will call us all to account for our lives on the Awesome Day of Judgment. So, you see that without God, words that should turn us on to becoming a loving people are actually empty of their meanings.

Hence, Great Lent is the season for forgiveness, repentance and responsibility. Holy Marriage is the stage on which forgiveness, repentance and responsibility are played out. Valentine’s Day needs to translate into more than flowers, boxes of chocolate and lots of alcohol.

In a world in which online sites such as Christian Mingle and E-Harmony, serve as vehicles for “proxenia” (προξενιά), call it “old-fashioned,” but the best place to meet a perspective spouse is in Church. That is where those words that make the world go around take on their real meanings. Too often a young man and a young woman come to apply for the Sacrament of Marriage, only to discover that, in their dating relationship, the topic of religion hasn’t even been raised, as if the issue of one’s religious values is some “secondary issue.” My advice: forget “Love: American Style” and talk about God while dating. Put Christ into the relationship and keep Him there. Then, words such as forgiveness, repentance and responsibility no longer remain “just words,” but become a fruitful and rewarding lifestyle, filled with God’s grace—where the words, “I love you,” have true value.

Holy Marriage and Great Lent go hand-in-glove. They are paths that lead us to God’s Kingdom. We are left with the “House Church.” Let’s pay attention to the final words of the Divine Liturgy: “Let us go forth in peace!” We are not supposed to simply “leave church”; we are supposed to “go forth” — to take the Church with us. Our cars are to become the Church; our homes are to become the Church; our businesses are to become the Church and “every good and perfect gift comes from God, the Father of Lights.”